1:36am. can't sleep. SHIZ.

This is what I don't understand: last night, when I got into bed around 10, reading and fell asleep around 11:30 or midnight without trouble, I got up eight hours later and it was fine and dandy. Tonight, when I get into bed around the same time but have to be up at six instead of nine, I can't seem to fall asleep for the life of me. It's now 1am and after tossing and turning for hours, I can't get to sleep. What is that? Nerves? The fact that my muscles weren't sore today and I didn't take a Tylenol PM before bed? I shouldn't have to. I didn't have any caffeine past like 10am. This is ridiculous, I really should take my friend's advice and see a doctor.


To make myself more tired, I just went outside and took a quick five-minute spin on my bike. At 1am, with no shoes on, wearing men's boxers and an oversize purple t-shirt. With wild bedhead. It was weird, it did make me more physically exhausted and I'm hoping with that and writing to make my brain exhausted, I can finally fall asleep, but it was just weird. Halfway through I basically started to panic because I had this awful realization that I wasn't safe in my bed anymore, I was out on the street, in the cold, in the dark, and it would take me longer than a minute to get home. For some reason that really freaked me out and I turned back. It was a strange experience, I just all of a sudden realized how weird it was to be biking at 1am on a school night, how different that is from the atmosphere of summer, and I just kind of internally flipped. Became super aware of every movement I was making. Eh. I don't know.


Today was my first day of school. Yesterday, I guess I mean. Wednesday. It was only noon to two, twelve minute classes, becuase freshmen had their orientation in the morning and all that. Tomorrow is the first real day, which involves waking up early and actually learning things. I'm going to have homework tomorrow. I like my classes enough, I have some with good friends and some with casual friends and one with someone I'm really glad to be seeing again, and it should be good. Plus, if all else fails, I can spend the day doing other homework in the easy classes, playing poker on my iPod, writing notes to my best friend, or just staring off into space wishing I was a giraffe or something.


Funny text message conversation of the day:
Ashley: how was hogwarts?
Me: Missed the train. :(
Ashley: Boo, same! i rode an ostrich to hogwarts
The most brilliant girl on the planet, ladies and gentlemen.


Folks, I am proud to say that my eyelids are drooping and I'm going to try and sleep now. A cold glass of water first and then hopefully, dreamland. You know, that's something I always said to my mom when I was younger, before I went to bed, "see ya in dreamland!" Maybe I'll see you guys in dreamland. ;)

hell to the yeah!

Text message conversations at 11pm, sitting at a really uncomfortable desk with really low lighting are almost always melancholy. Especially if they're about topics that make you sad with people that make you sad. I should turn off the lights and take the laptop into bed with Lucy and the darkness and a poster of Emile Hirsch in Into The Wild looking behind my quizzically, but I just redid my room today and my sheets are still in the dryer, so I have to wait a little bit. I really like the way I redid my room, although I probably would love any redone room, cuz it's really the change that I crave. Or craved. Well regardless, it's pretty snappy lookin'.

I'm going to make a room tour on Saturday for thesexymacaroni (my collab channel), because I was supposed to on Tuesday and didn't have a chance to record at my mom's house and I'll probably link it here in case anyone reading doesn't watch thesexymac or I want to see it later on a readback or something. I'm pretty excited. I'm also going to start a mini wall project (link is to my last, very long-running blog where I had this epic/epic fail wall project in summer 2009) surrounding my desk area. It's gonna be BEASTY. …remind me never to use that word again. Hehe.

Funny text conversation of the day:
"Randomly, from a friend: Go!
Me: Go? Go fish? Go green? Go vacationing in Guam?"
Is it boastful if the alleged funny part is on my end? *ponders*

Eek, I love how you guys liked that Cap'n Crunch snippet. I mean, I'd be lying if I said I hated it, it was kinda cute and weird. I like writing. I mean, obviously, if I didn't like writing, having this blog which is heavy on the attempted-well-constructed sentences would be pretty pointless. Eek! Your comments made me happy, as they always do. My favorite part of the morning is checking my blog folder in my email on my iPod.

You know what? Tomorrow I have to wake up at 9am, which is a hell of a lot earlier than 11:30am, which is when I woke up this morning and it was really hard to do, and yet I have just decided that I am NOT going to go to bed early. Just, seriously, I don't want to. It's fucking summer (pardon my french) and I have five nights left of being able to stay up late, and I don't care. I want to stay up late and read blogs and watch videos and talk to my friends and I can sleep in the car on the way to the DMV to get my temps renewed. Tiredness until I drink some tea will be worth it for just one more of these priceless nights. Can I get a hell yeah? (HELL yeah!)

cereal inspiration

I am excited to turn 21, not for the alcohol drinking age or anything, I'm not all that interested in alcohol and it's not that hard to get if you're underage (if you know the right people, I mean, or have super oblivious parents). I'm excited to turn 21 so I can legally gamble. I'm pretty sure on my 21st birthday, I want to fly out to Vegas and play Texas Hold 'Em and Blackjack and Slots and… yeah. My mouth basically foams at the thought of that. I think I'll ask my buddy Nina to come with me, her birthday is one day after mine, and she is equally obsessed with casino stuff. Eek!

Funny text conversation of the day:
"Dad: Can you open up the back door for Sars?
Me: Scariest typo ever. I did."
Cuz I really don't want to willingly let SARS into my house.

I think Wednesdays are my official lazy day of the summer. On Monday and Tuesday I was up, showered, read, and dressed by 2pm or so. It's now 4:45pm and I'm still wearing pajamas and I haven't read my pages yet. But I'm okay with that, I mean, it's my last Wednesday of the summer. I can be a little bit lazy if I want to.

I have a pet peeve. I actually have many pet peeves, but one of the biggies is when people say, "how was your day?" and you look at your day and it's 6:14pm and you're like "wtf, today isn't over, I still have six hours until the day is over, and besides, it's not really over until I go to bed!" Basically when someone says that I get this sinky-heart feeling that the day is over and that it's the end of the day, end of the summer, end of the good times and then I get all panicky. I do not appreciate that phrase. Or when someone asks how your weekend was and it's like 2pm on a Sunday. Seriously? *clings desperately to any time left in life before actual production must be done*

I was thinking about Cap'n Crunch today, and what if I wrote my NaNoWriMo novel about Cap'n Crunch? I mean, think about it, like, so many things you could do with that. Besides eating it by the box during the duration of November, that is.
It was 6:55pm when I answered the door to find her standing there, plain as day, wearing some crumpled old camp tshirt and shorts and she was looking at me. With those green eyes, she was looking at me, and I was looking at her, and before I could ask her why she was there, she opened her mouth and said, "Who answers the door with a bowl of Cap'n Crunch?"
She asked me this and I didn't answer, I just stared at her, I stared at her and I stared at the bowl of cereal balanced in my hand, and I didn't answer because really, who answers the door with a bowl of Cap'n Crunch?
Dumb. I'll write my novel about Kix or something instead.